夜读丨做情绪的引导者
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真正决定情绪的,是每个人不同的认知。
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情绪是生活的晴雨表,一个气象员,能够预测天气的变化,根据季节、气压、湿度等客观因素判断下一步的天气走势。
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同样,一个高情商、情绪能力强的人,就是自己内心的天气预报员,能够随时觉察、了解自己的心理变化。
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情绪是转变或者推动我们的工具,它们就像天气一样,不会日日晴朗,也不会天天暴风雨。
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沮丧可能是惊喜和悲伤的混合物,而喜悦可能是苦乐参半。
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当一种情绪在我们身上停滞不前时,我们不必压抑它,要学会慢慢疏导。
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压抑情绪会导致情绪失控,因此,学习如何把你的情绪发泄出来,是你可以为自己和其他人做的有意义的一件事。
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人类的基础情绪有四种,恐惧、悲伤、愤怒、喜悦。
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在此基础之上,每种基础情绪又衍生出不同的表现形式,比如焦虑是恐惧的一种,源自于对未知的恐惧。
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基础情绪中,负面情绪占了四分之三,正面情绪只有一个,这似乎是生活的写照,每一分快乐的获得,就会体验至少一分焦虑、一分贪婪、一分恐慌……
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名家画廊 | 田世光
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很多人以为,是发生在自己身上的事件引发了情绪,但是同一件事发生在不同人的身上,可能会有完全不同的反应。
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真正决定情绪的,是每个人不同的认知。
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情绪的好坏在于我们对产生的事件有着怎样的认知方式。
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事件做出一个刺激,人做出反应,这两者之间存在一定的空间,在这一空间里,体现了我们内心的力量、以及掌控情绪的能力。
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朋友开了一家公司,每年都会有生意的淡季,淡季来临,公司现金流短缺,他的恐惧也来了。他
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被一堆情绪压得喘不过气,感到胸闷、情绪紧张。
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后来,他学会辨别哪些情绪正在发生,是哪些原因带来了这些情绪。
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把情绪进行分解、归类,才能让他免于崩溃。
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在分解情绪的过程中,他发现:
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愤怒可以转变成勇气,妒忌可以撑大胸怀,绝望可以转变为斗志,焦虑可以让我们看到自己真正害怕的东西……
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名家画廊 | 田世光
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有人这样定义幸福:“幸福不是拥有你想要的,而是想要你已经拥有的。”
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我们常常把幸福看作一种生活目标或一个物品,当我们满足自己的本能或欲望时,就会幸福,而现实却是得到越多,我们越难以满足,也就越难产生幸福感。
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拥有多少才是幸福呢?
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和所有的除法等式一样,提升幸福感的方法是增大被除数,也就是“拥有”;同时减小除数,也就是“想要”的欲望。
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你的情绪怎么了,决定了你做的每一件事的价值和体验,也就决定了生活的好坏和滋味。
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情绪不是生活的一部分,情绪就等于生活。
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来源:新华社
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