【夜读】人与人最舒服的关系:行有所止,言有所界,凡事有度
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有人说:“与朋友交,久而敬之,敬也就是保持距离,也就是防止过分亲昵。” 就像树与树之间,必须要保持一定的距离才能健康生长一样,人与人交往,亲密也要有间。把握好尺度,行有所止,言有所界,凡事有度,才是相处最舒服的状态。
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生活中,我们常常能看到各种各样的人际越界,比如:“你每个月赚多少钱?你怎么还不结婚?”“你在公司当领导,给我儿子安排个职位呗?”成年人的边界感就像空气,一旦消失就知道有多重要了。
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有句话说得好:“再好的感情,也会尽于理所当然。”
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人与人之间的交往,最忌讳不知所止。花枯了还有重开之日,感情透支了就很难挽回。
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看过这样一个故事。一群几年没见的大学同学在一起聚餐。阿池发现有一个同学身上的衣服,是大学时经常穿的,便对那位同学说:“我记得你大学时,就经常穿这件衣服,你是不是故意哭穷,所以今天特意穿出来啊?”
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阿池一句话,让原本热闹的气氛瞬间变得尴尬。班长出来打圆场说:“这说明他身材保持得好,我去年买的衣服,今年就穿不上了,肚子越来越大,我正发愁呢。”在班长的解围下,氛围再次活跃起来,也化解了刚刚尴尬的气氛。
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听过一句话说:“你让人舒服的程度,决定着你能抵达的高度。”有时,心直口快,可能让人左右为难。
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语言虽然无形,但可以像春风般舒服,也可化作利刃直穿人心。
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生活中,管好自己的嘴,守住自己的心,留好自己的分寸,是对他人最基本的尊重。
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有句台词说:“做羹要讲究火候。火候不到,众口难调,火候过了,事情就焦。”火候,就是“度”。把握好“度”,才能维持好一段感情。很多时候,我们与人相处,不是不懂得亲近,而是不懂“疏远”。
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君子之交淡如水,因为淡所以才能不腻,才能持久。所有令人舒服的相处,一定饱含合适的分寸感。
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曾看到一位网友分享自己的经历。发小有一次去他所在的城市看病,直到回去的那天下午,才打电话告诉他,自己准备回去了。他问发小为何不早点告诉自己,即便不能陪同,至少可以提供住宿。发小却说:“知道你现在挺忙,父母孩子都需要你照顾,就没打扰你。”
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随着年龄渐长,经历的事情越多,渐渐觉得,长久的友谊都是亲密有间的。亲近地保持距离,或许才是最恰当的交际方式。
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凡事有分寸,熟不逾矩,感情才能长久。行有所止,言有所界,凡事有度,才是人与人之间最舒服的关系。
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来源:人民日报
</p> 与人相处,让人舒服一一最大的人格魅力 凡事有分寸,熟不逾矩,感情才能长久。 人和人的关系,浓则醇厚深邃,淡则回味无穷 距离产生美 说者无意听者有心,不要下意识对朋友说出越线的话,不管关系多好。 有理
保持距离
这篇文章不错,很多人做事不懂得尺度。
君子之交淡如水。
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